We set out from the car to the massive Astro Dome in the wonderland rocks area in the ahh-inspiring Jousha Tree National Park. Our stoke was roaring high, skipping from boulder to boulder to the bottom of the Figures on a Landscape route. A classic iconic three pitch climb; climbs up the north face of the massive pile of rocks. With a 510b rating, well in our ability to climb. We rack the gear and tie into the rope. After reaching the first bolt, the line begins to move right, and the holds begin to thin, and the technical climbing begins. Balancey moves, with a very committing unprotected section to more positive holds with adequate protection. The rope goes extremely taut, within milliseconds I’m slammed against the wall jamming the brake. I look up and see my partner weighting the rope, let me down, let me down… I broke my ankle, he mutters. At the ground we assess the ankle, and surely the damage is done. The force of the fall, with the ankle landing directly on the ledge, surely was the culprit of this carnage. Beginning the five-mile slog to the car with my crawling partner and two fully loaded haul bags…
With my thoughts spinning, did that just happen… The countless thoughts, this is my fault. I could have totally prevented that big of a fall, if only I was belaying from the ground. I could have sucked all that drawn out rope inn and kept him away from that F*ck-ledge. Why did we have to belay from that stupid perched spot, just because the OGs did it…
Having claimed the title of the best belayer in the West before this event, my shattered ego now finds that my entire understanding of climbing has been turned upside down by that single belay. Before, to me a belay was that chore that you had to do, to get your turn to run up the wall. The only requirement was to not short rope your partner and never let go of the brake.
Climbing is an individual activity in the most fundamental ways, much like life itself. Both climbing and life are solitary pursuits with interactions from other people woven in. Let’s break this down: We live our lives, and billions of others are living theirs. As we seek companionship, community, and other enriching experiences, we have an innate ability to connect with one another. To truly connect, we must TRUST each other.
Trust is a big word, right? To hear I trust you or I don't trust you, I don't even know what that means… so what is the basic anatomy of trust?
Trust is choosing to make what's important to you, vulnerable to the actions of someone else.
The premise is that trust is built in the smallest of moments, often referred to as sliding door moments. These are opportunities where we can either build trust or commit betrayal. Trust can be broken down into actionable components such as boundaries, reliability, accountability, the vault, integrity, non-judgment, and generosity. Understanding these components gives us the tools to articulate specific issues: for example, if someone is unreliable or if there’s a problem with non-judgment. By breaking trust down into these elements, we can address specific concerns rather than being overwhelmed by the broad concept of trust itself. These bite-sized components serve as the building blocks that cultivate deep levels of trust. Can we go beyond these fundamental aspects and simply embody trust in our true essence?
As the park entrances fade behind us, we drive down Park Blvd, heading home from an unexpectedly dramatic event. Gradually, we begin to discuss the day, breaking down the climb and analyzing the choices that compounded to the accident. We review the placement of the belay station, the hesitancy during the run-out, and the inherent risks of climbing.
True Trust is a transparent sliding door that connects one’s reality to another, made possible only through honest, healthy communication. Communication is crucial for building trust in relationships. As the saying goes, “Without communication, there can be no trust. What you say, how you say it, and how you respond to others can make or break trust”.
Despite all the goods that came from the heartful conversation, I was still feeling disheartened by my climbing partner's injury, knowing it will lead to a long road of healing, recovery, rebuilding over the next six months till he would be climbing and my role I played in the accident.
Climbing requires a profound level of self-trust—trusting your abilities to make a move or solve the sequence needed to complete the climb. Redefining self-trust within a level of trust in life, that is only cultivated within the most basics of life. And really there are no words for understanding this, but you are living in trust. You are a human being, living in trust, just being a love of energy in just being human. Think about whether you must trust yourself to breathe, or to give your energy to another person in need. There are countless examples, that we naturally live a life of trust. By focusing on trust as a central aspect of your being, you can release the pressure of having to 'build' self-trust. This awareness provides a solid foundation for trusting others in your world.
Self-trust is the foundation of self-love and self-respect—the greatest adventure we can undertake. When pondering trust, remember that if you can’t rely on yourself, you can’t expect others to give you what you lack. Start with self-trust. Maya Angelou once said, 'I don’t trust people who don’t love themselves but say, ‘I love you.’' You’ll know you’re ready to trust others when you are willing to trust yourself above anyone else.
“Allowing to live in trust, enables for a connection that is completely free from attachment to the outcome of anything."
Written by James Larson
Photography by Sydney Matas
Edited by Maria Harrison
Artwork by Carolina De Los Rios
Source Reference: Braving Trust - Brene Brown
Self trust is a must. Thank you for sharing this.